Looking at the two children that came to my neighbors place, I recognized something different about them, they were quite small, fear in their eyes, no smile on their face, low pitched laugh coming out of the mouth, limited in their body motion. I remember this vividly in my childhood, because we played together. After they had left, I asked him why are the children so fearful and short ?
He replied, “because their parents don’t love them”
I was confused by his answer, as I myself was a kid at that time and couldn’t figure out; but after nearly a decade his answer is ringing a bell in my head. I didn’t connect the dots at that time, I was a short kid too, and they were also short, they were not as emotionally matured as normal kids are. I kept thinking what stood out, whenever they used to play, or do any sort of thing, their abusive loud mother would scold them, humiliate them, and punish them physically.
Punishing children physically is accepted in our country, so there was nothing the law could do against beating children. At certain times some children may require light punishment, but the problem lies when psychotic parents use the law as a way to physically torture and abuse kids. All the people that I remember who had faced abusive childhood, were either physically small or emotionally immature. That’s not to say that all people who are small or immature faced abuse, but it is an absolute a fact what abusive childhood does to people.
Caring parents create a safe environment for children, this emotional connection they have with their children, provides understanding, empathy, needs. As I was confused, when I heard the word ‘love’ and how it impacts childhood, I recognized there was no ‘emotional‘ connection between me and my parents, it was just behavioral connection, this didn’t allow me to be as emotionally mature. A child’s brain needs constant emotional empathy and care, that releases the growth hormone for physical growth which in turn provides emotional growth.
When I arrived in London, the center of the financial capital in Europe, to not only explore and do my studies, but also to get away from my family. I realized all this time I had been living in a prison, and being in a prison has taken it’s toll. I couldn’t function in a fast pace environment, I wasn’t mature enough to deal with stress and responsibilities, I didn’t know how to communicate effectively and connect with people, the scars and trauma are too much for me to continue, I am back in the prison, the prison broke me.