Masking trauma

Last night as I was drinking coke, the more I drank the more I craved for it. I was thinking about getting another bottle to satisfy my lust for the drink, but finishing one bottle meant getting another one and so on. I was sitting and saying to myself, it’s me that is only craving for it but others are not.

Trauma is a complex psychological condition to those who suffer abuse & pain, dealing with the stresses in society, according to Dr. Gabor Mate (video below). Addiction is a temporary relief and pleasure, but on the long term has negative consequences of the behavior. Most people think addiction is only drugs or sex, but it’s everywhere around us. Every time you see someone : smoking, shopping constantly, gambling, using internet, playing games, working out obsessively, etc.. are all symptoms of addiction.

Childhood abuse causes massive trauma, so the connections in the brain don’t develop properly, so either drugs or the addictive behavior one does rewards the system in the brain, this reward for the craving is the sole reason for addiction. I got hooked up on playing games and using internet during high school, so as to keep myself busy from loneliness. As I couldn’t deal with my pain, I rewarded my system, by sitting in front of a pc being hooked online, it became an obsession.

One can distinguish between addiction and actual temporary relief. When I used to go to the gym, it was to get fit and spend my free time, but there were others who were obsessively working out, making sure they come everyday, do specific sets, constantly looking at the mirror, to them working out became an obsession. It didn’t matter to me, if I missed the gym for a whole week, but to them they were depressed if they missed a single day. This is what I came to realize when I lived abroad during my studies, it gave me a third person view of my life, and I didn’t realize my addiction, and what I was missing out: dealing with pain.

Dealing with trauma, is a painful process, and for us we need help from others, and its difficult to explain the situation or circumstances for the addiction, because our current society enables cravings. Connecting with others, someone one can trust, to share and feel compassion is a critical component to dealing with one’s abuse, and rather than masking the trauma, being forthright is the only way.

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