Shit-storm coming


As soon as I landed in my country, with filth all around the airport, smelly toilet, and overcrowded species I felt this sick pain in my stomach. Little did I know about the shit storm that would start.

Everyone looked at me suspiciously when I entered the house, I knew something was up. I already had to cut my plans short and wasn’t willing to deal with the negative energy surrounding me, it’s here in my own country, own city, own neighborhood, own family that I feel the most negative energy that one can tolerate.

While having a conversation with my narcissistic mother, her paranoia knows no bounds, that’s why I always avoided having any discussions with her. I find out she reported me to the police ! making up stories in her head, that I will do evil things. She made up stories to the police, that I hadn’t told her where I was going (a lie), even though the phone records show that I called her. As expected the law enforcement, came to my home as soon as I bought a new pc, and searched my whole room, took my laptop, pc, passports, pen drives, then I was escorted to the station where I had to spend the whole night.

As I was sitting in the air-conditioned unit of the detective branch station, I was thinking I should have expected this from my own mother, it didn’t surprise me that she would do something like this, but going through this whole experience has taken it’s toll. In the morning officers questioned my motive to go to Indonesia, a beautiful paradise, that’s what my reply was. Even though I stopped going to mosque since high school and was non religious, and talked about dangers of some religion in my blog posts, they were suspicious of my motive. The lack of poor unverified intelligence they had was still shocking, which was perpetuated by my mothers paranoia.

Even after several weeks since the incident, I am troubled by my family’s behavior, what other ways are they going to hurt me. I am troubled by the corrupt law enforcement in our country, the poor intelligence, the corrupt practices, punishing innocent victims, as of now my computers, passports are still with the authorities.

Faces in Places


For the last couple of weeks, observing personally the way people are pulling strings to get favors has been quite amusing. It’s shouldn’t be surprising to me, as one can expect living in a densely populated city, but having it done against you has been shocking for me.

This is a city, where ‘connections’ are everything, bribery and favors go hand in hand. If one needs a passport, national identification card, police, even a train ticket, you need to know people in the right places. One can look the other way around, and try to go forth about their business, but it won’t do any good. Where money is to be made, either the one who has the money, or knows the faces can get things to work.

Where money is to be made, either the one who has the money, or knows the faces can get things to work.

As the british have introduced liberalism to our part of the world, more bureaucracy meant more corruption. Legislation, are good to have, but it only favors people who have the means to benefit and manipulate the law on their behalf. Democracy sounds great, if people can actually ‘elect’ someone rather than ‘select’ a predetermined party.

Democracy only gives the illusion of power to the people.

Even in Europe, which boasts itself as a ‘democracy’, yes getting access to some public services are much better than our country, one doesn’t need to bribe officials just to get a passport. However, if one looks at the legal system, it’s only catered to people who have the resources to benefit the legal system.

This dog-eat-dog world, will require people to either pony up, or to have faces at places to get you favors. The later, seems to make ordinary people get cheaper access, but a favor also means giving one, and there lies the complexity of power.