Off a cliff

At grade 3 at the time, the math exams were an hour long, I use to finish it half-an hour before the others. Fast forward today and I can barely do basic arithmetic, this is what broken childhood will do to the mind. I remember reading the article about the girl who was a mathematical genius but became an escort, naturally I assumed that she is a nymphomaniac. Now having reflected on the story this is a sad case of childhood abuse that people can barely understand.

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The abuser and abused sitting side by side, the public thinks, such a young girl getting admitted at Oxford is incredible and her family is outstanding. Reality is quite different, especially for asian families, in most cases the family puts immense pressure on gifted children to perform mental feats only a mature brain is capable of handling. Also asian families value their social standing and ‘reputation’ very carefully, and putting their children at an ivy league college is considered honorable.

I often see child prodigies getting admitted at ivy league institutions very early on, and this is a big mistake by colleges, although the child is capable of doing those specific tasks in the academic arena, they are not fully matured enough to deal with the responsibilities and roles that comes in an environment designed for adults. This is why I often see bizarre things called ‘safe spaces’, banning ‘controversial’ speakers, because the kids are not fully matured to even be in college. Oxford is just as irresponsible as her half-wit parents to accept Sufiah Yusof and her demise to destruction.

Her family is interracial, her mother is Malaysian, and her dad is Pakistani. For those who don’t know Pakistani people are the shit-hole of humanity that exists in this world, they are far gross than any race in this world. Both of them are strict religious ideologues, and in a religion which has a history of child abuse, and the father being a paki-filth was the abuser, he was arrested for abusing two other girls. Culturally and religiously pakistani’s have a tradition of incest, abuse, murder which they justify specifically due to religion.

Path to destruction started by her family, her dad no doubt a pathological predator, and training to excel at academia requires plenty of sacrifice, which children should not be forced to do. Even a prodigy is also a child, and proper upbringing will ensure both work and leisure balance, no doubt she never had that opportunity. Plenty of celebrity stars had faced this dilemma, without proper guidance they exhibit bizarre behavior, one is Miley Cyrus, and in this case of Sufia Yusof, who turned to escort.

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On top of that you have a society that is pushing these kids to excel, either academically, athletically, or entertainment wise. After all this is just entertainment, the public’s appetite at the cost of a child’s life.

Forgetting Faces

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One of the problems with PTSD, is you tend to forget things, particular aspects in life that have been shut down. Denial and not being able to able to deal with a traumatic event, will cause the mind to just shut down. This is an automatic mechanism that our body has produced in order to ensure our survival in harsh conditions.

Many people that I know, or have encountered with, will often look at me with amusement, because I simply couldn’t remember or know them when I see them in public. This happened when I saw a childhood friend recently. As she was walking by she looked at me straight in the eyes, and smiled at me, but I couldn’t remember her ! People who deal with ptsd, stress, depression can only understand the situation.

Whenever I am walking in public, and there are millions of people here in our city, you tend to not remember a lot of faces, combine this with depression, you often don’t want to remember them. Disassociation is due to the stress of my environment, my trauma, my pain.

The interesting thing is, this doesn’t just apply to trauma victims, because I once walked right past one of my colleague, smiled at him, yet he didn’t even acknowledge me and he doesn’t suffer from ptsd, depression. Later when I asked him about this, he said he was under severe stress, meeting deadlines, going to meetings, the usual stressful office work.

There are those like me, who will forget a lot of familiar faces due to ptsd, and then there are others who will forget due to stress. Question now is stress the problem for our ills, or the people who create a stressful society, I fear it’s both.